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Year Over!

December 31th, 2024

Looooooooooong entry ahead. First: I had some goals for this year. I'll put them under a details tag because I talk about health and weight and emotions.

2024 New Years Resolutions
  1. Go outside more often: Nope! I spent half of this year in bed alone. TBH that's also a pretty vague goal, even though it's easy to state yes/no. It should have been something like "just sit on the back porch and actually feel the sun for like 10 min/a day."
  2. Focus on building a new skill each month: Also no, I was too in my own bubble of misery/survival mode. In retrospect, I probably should have laid out a few skills I wanted to build and just jumped between focus each month; if I wanted it to be more realistic/achievable.
  3. Lose weight: Yes, a lot; in the most pathetic way possible. I lost weight by not being able to stand eating, and laying in bed. I didn't ~do~ anything so I don't feel proud. The object in the mirror just looks sad and lacks the comfort of familiarity. I'm in worse health than 1 year ago.

BUT! I've spent way too much time being angry and mopey this year. It's not good for me, and nobody likes to listen to it. I can't choose my emotions but I can at least sometimes choose what to focus on. (Someday in the future I might talk about this "Pendulum Thing" that happens in my head sometimes.) So here's a random selections of some things I enjoyed this year!

1.) Hades
Dungeon crawler, hack n slash, roguelite, lots of dialogue, character work. You play as Zagreus, son of Hades, and try to fight your way out of the underworld. Repeatedly. Every time I told someone I was playing this for the first time their reaction was something along the lines of "Wait...yeah you would LOVE this game, how have you not played it yet???" I 'only' played 50 hours but I've beaten it and got decently close to the 100% ending (which I do know; I wouldn't call it worth it to most people but I enjoy the gameplay loop enough that I was well on track to getting it [but then I started playing DE])

Something I learned upon playing this game is I guess I'm like the only person that is not intimately familiar with ancient Greek mythology? I knew next to nothing going in and my friends kept "spoiling" (for lack of a better term) characters/stories/relationships because they assumed I knew as much as them. Apparently it's extremely common in American middle/high school to learn about Greek myths? Despite going to the same schools and taking largely the same classes, all of my friends but I have had multiple assignments over multiple years involving them. I always assumed it was like astrology, and it's just something people got weirdly into for no specific reason. The only Greek myth I was really familiar with beforehand was Orpheus and Eurydice (by proxy, it's my favorite), and I do really like this games interpretation of it as well.

Love the art, love the dialogue, love the gameplay, the music is fantastic. Had a great time, will probably be back to it sometime next year, will probably also get Hades 2 once it's out for real.

2.) Disco Elysium
Skill/Dice-Roll based, emotional, walk around and talk to people, essentially a book, absurd amount of dialogue. You're a detective that wakes up with no memory after a bender; and you have a murder to solve. It's one of those games that the less you know going in, the better- BUT ALSO there's so much dialogue that any playthrough will be unique to you. (plus, the randomness of dice rolls.)

Spoilery details of my playthrough/experience: My favorite moment is impossible to pick, but I really loved the quest with the woman's missing husband. It's so raw and completely pointless to the actual task. I was a psyche/motorics build and had a blast. My signature skill was Volition. I couldn't possibly pick a favorite skill or character. I'm shocked I actually got the "best" ending. I missed my apointment with The Pigs. Lots of people are dead. Those teens are totally building a meth lab. I was half sorry, half superstar cop. IIRC I was something like 50/40/10% liberal/communist/everything else. It's not Cuno. I passed the Authority Check. I didn't keep calling. I solved the murder. Kim got the photo.

I ADORE the art and soundtrack for this game. I'm very curious of the book it's based on but haven't read it. A sad LOL for all the happenings before and after ZA/UM falling apart.

3.) I'm Glad My Mom Died (THE BOOK)
Jennette McCurdy's memoir about her life growing up as a child actor and her horrible home life. I'm sure you've heard of this book, it's gotten incredible coverage and accolades. I don't really read, I probably average less than 1 book a year; but I read all of this essentially in one sitting (before and after arriving at an appointment. I finished it in the waiting room and spent the rest of my time wondering why I set myself up like that.) As of now, there's a happy ending, at least!

4.) Baldur's Gate 3
I still have yet to finish it. I recently complemented a pig (Halsin Approves.) I have not played the previous Baldur's Gates. I have low-middling knowledge of dnd lore so BG3 bounces between feeling overwhelming but exciting. This game taught me I am so god damn bad at D&D oh my god. Balanced mode routinely kicks my ass. I had dreams of an honor mode run some day, but I don't know anymore. I'm playing as a bard and having a great time. It's about equal but I may enjoy combat a smidge more than dialogue/skill checks. I definitely bard my way through a lot of things, though. This game and IRL dnd make me appreciate the other. I Like the logic of the video game. I like how things will always be ruled the same and work the same way and have clear can/cannot do lines. Alternatively, in real life, my team mates can understand that I am gaining advantage by LYING to the enemy, WYLL!! I like how in real life you can express more than one opinion at once. You can tell someone you think something is a bad idea, but you will still help them.

I've been playing it super slowly and taking lots of breaks. I think it's a little easier for me to burn out since this is a first playthrough, so I don't know what kind of gameplay I'll be doing this session. I'm having a really good time though. As always, I like nice art and characters and lots of dialogue. I go back and forth on how I feel about the character creator. I like to make my monsters with sliders, but in BG3 everybody is cursed with attractiveness. My favorite character to play mechanically is my bard Tav and Lae'zel. My favorite origin characters story wise, so far, are Lae'zel and Astarion. My favorite npc is probably Zevlor.

Minor, goblin camp time spoiler She's not an origin character, but of note, IDK how I feel about Minthara. Mostly because I totally killed her, oops. But I know both ways to get her now, so many hours from now I'll have an opinion.

I don't have any specific examples, but apparently I play this game like a lunatic, because every time I tell my friend something I did, she replies "WHAT???? YOU DID ______?????" instead of something like..."Oh, I chose this and this happened instead." I don't know if this is a good or bad thing. It's also confusing because I feel like I'm mostly choosing good/moral choices.

5.) Moral Orel
Adult Swim doesn't care about this show anymore so there's like 3 different uploads of the whole series onto youtube. It's a claymation show about Orel Puppington, a kid who loves god and church and is surrounded by terrible people. It's fairly short, the whole show is less than 10 hours worth of episodes. I don't have much to say beyond I liked it a lot! If you're going in totally blind and are feeling iffy after 1 or 2 episodes; do know that the goofy situation of the day set up exists to be deconstructed, and while you might not like what happens, more does happen. It's very intentionally and well written; I'm sad it got cut off.

6.) Music

7.) Keep Your Hands Off Eizouken!
This show is probably mostly known for it's intro. It's about 3 highschoolers that find a loophole to make an animation club, and their efforts in creating animations for it. It's so cute, so charming. It's very obviously created from a place of love and admiration for the art. I love the acapella sound effects during the "animated" scenes. I have a low tolerence for anime bullshit (pervert humor/fan service, chibi blobs, etc.) and this passes perfectly. I was so pleasantly surprised. I haven't read the manga, not sure if I will. I kind of like where the show ended, honestly.

8.) The Big O
My friends and I voice chat and watch anime on saturdays we otherwise have nothing to do. I remember I added this show to the list because I vaguely remembered seeing it in passing as a child, and the intro honestly just makes me laugh. Nobody expected much from it and one friend and I decided to watch it in one sitting to get it off the list. It's actually awesome. The ridiculous destruction to the city every time the mechs come out. The One Piece-tier silly reoccuring villains. The failed lovers vibe between Roger and Dan. Everything is so perfectly over the top. Despite the goofiness, the overarching plot and history of Paradigm City is genuinely interesting. We only watched the first season, if I can ever find the rest of the show (or the manga); I'm really curious how the rest of it goes.

9.) Boiling Point
A low-key continuous shot style English film about a head chef during a particularly rough night of service (to put it lightly.) I know there's a spin off show of the same name, and I've heard that this movie may have inspired The Bear (I've seen neither.) I never watch movies, I've seen so few I don't know if me saying its good actually means anything. But I liked it a lot! I like the contrast of the immense stress everybody is under vs the portrayal. The majority of characters came across as normal, real people.

10.) Blood on the Tracks
A psychological horror manga by Shuzo Oshimi. IDK if this counts as a 2024 thing, because I've been following this manga for years. It just happened to end in 2024. It's about Seiichi, a shy/awkward kid with simultaneously codependant yet abusive mother. The main plot hook is his mother shoves Seiichi's cousin/her nephew off of a mountain side in response to him jokingly, fake-doing the same to Seiichi. It's raw and upsetting and I love it.

Big massive ending spoilersI was so worried when older Seiichi saw the girl he used to have a crush on. But then the actual ending is a Real happy ending. It's the best ending Seiichi as a person could get. I was so worried the author would try to tie it up too neatly/perfectly but he didn't and I'm so thankful.

I'm really curious about this author's other works, I've heard good things about them and will try to check them out relatively soon.

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This was a numbered list but I've realized now that implies it's a top ten list. It's not, it's not in any particular order. As always, I wrote this in one go, so I apologize because it's certainly gibberish at points. I'm afraid to make any New Years Resolutions, no more monkey paw curling 😭.

A Decade of Crochet

December 9th, 2024

‼ Warning ‼
Lots of images.

I don't remember for certain, but in I believe late 2013, my grandmother taught me the basics of crochet while we were visiting her. I made a very wobbly trapezoid. I still have it, in fact!


forgive the stains, it's lived a decent life as a hotpad*

At some point I started going around the edge in hopes of making it closer to a square, it worked a bit. I couldn't figure out how to tie off the end so it's a goofy not-quite bow.

A few weeks ago, I realized I had basically the exact same yarn; and decided to recreate this first project ever.


In 10 years, I learned how to make a square!

The blue square now just exists with my yarn, I don't know what to do with it. But it represents...something! That doing the exact same thing 100s of 1000s of times gets you some sort of improvement?

Where would I place my skill level now? Possibly intermediate/advanced. I generally believe in my ability to follow more complex instructions, but I prefer to work on "mindless" patterns so I don't push myself much. Some things I can/have done:

I'm sure more. A big issue is that, honestly, I tend to just hand wave a lot of advanced projects. I don't need doilies. I don't need and do not want to buy the yarn for a giant mandala blanket. I don't like wall tapestries. I'd also like to learn interlocking mosaic. I've done a test swatch of it, but it didn't 100% click. I can't see myself making anything substantial though, that's soooooo much yarn. Same thing is stopping me from getting into tunisian crochet. I think I'd like to crochet a sweater someday, but I go back and forth on it. It just seems thick and uncomfortable. blah blah blah. I just need to bite the bullet and pick out a really good pattern and prove to myself I can make something nice LOL.

Another thing in the realm of "hey it's been a decade" :

(This picture is pretty awful, sorry) (I'll try to get a better one when I weave in the ends.) But it's my scrap blanket! It's a weird state of being. It is a combination of my own leftover yarn, scraps of yarn from my other grandma (who both lived closer and made much smaller projects in a variety of colors, resulting in way more various yarn) and one or two instances of ~almost~ a full skein of yarn because I would eventually frog a project and not know what to do with the yarn. An example is the light neon yarn that you can see throughout the entire thing. It went through two attempts at dog sweaters, but it just didn't work out so it eventually got killed. I may have made one hat with that yarn too?

It was kind of just going on forever (if you've seen the project page on it, you may know that I frogged + restarted it in the round a year ago.) I realized that since I just hit a decade of crocheting, this would be a pretty graceful end. Unrelated, but in retrospect I think I like the way it looked in plain hdcs more than moss stitch.

I like this blanket as a museum of yarn more than as an actual blanket. It's at least 45% acrylic yarn that is older than me. It's itchy. Some close ups of it's horrific beauty; though be warned if you're not familiar with crochet/moss stitch specifically, this might be kind of hard to visually parse:

The center: Is fake. The first two yarns of the original were actually that variegated blue and the bernat blanket. To the shock of no one, it's extremely hard to begin a moss stitch, in-the-round blanket with fuzzy yarn and hook a few couple sizes too small. A friend has described this part as "unfortunate" LOL. it's the story though, that's the yarn I used so it's gotta be there! You can guess how well bernat blanket yarn went as a new crocheter all those years ago, too.

Plus, There's a lot of disliked yarns in this beginning section. The impracticality of blanket yarn. That first tiny bit of varigated blue that I liked the colors of, but just seemed ugly worked up (RHSS Icelandic.) That mystery chunky, sparkly grey yarn that I liked in theory, but again was so ugly worked up (if it still exists [doubt] it might work better knit?) RHSS in Mirage, one of billions of instances of liking the colors in theory but hating it worked up. Lots of unfortunate textures from ancient acrylic. The beginning of the curse of Lion Brand Wool-Ease in Oatmeal. Learning that cotton (Lily S&C in Poppy, IIRC) is kind of brutal for tight tensioners. That black yarn that's going into the Bernat Blanket was absurdly stretchy, alternatively. But! That's what it's about, you learn from doing and trying and experimenting.

😬 Sorry about the hair. A close up of a phase of cotton tube yarn. From what I recall, this yarn looks great with even-moss stitch (which is completely distinct from moss stitch/this blanket.) I'd like to try knitting with it someday too! It's not Woobles yarn, this was before they existed, idk what brands they were.

The beginning and end point of what I call the cheeto yarn. It made a whole row on both versions of the blanket. Generally it was pretty neat, it was two out of-sync rainbows twisted together, and the hat I made with the rest of it looked pretty cool. This is just a particularly unflattering section. This yarn is just a couple steps from roving though, it wasn't super fun to work with. Also, a glimpse of that chunky Christmas yarn that I actually liked a lot but it was one of those mystery yarns that just materialized in the house - not enough to make anything with :-( (I'd love to knit a stocking someday!)

Center line: Lion Brand Homespun in "Mimosa" that I just call meat yarn, because I made a cowl for my friend and was just left with the old meat colored section. Shiny dark green yarn in upper third: very similar to the cheeto yarn, but single ply roving. Most of it was destroyed when I frogged the original blanket. I'm sure the hat I made with it (given away, at some point, because it was too small for my head) has not survived either; now that I think of it. Don't buy roving style yarn LOL. I think the not-quite-rainbow pastel section looks really cute!

Outlined: two vintage acrylics that I really like the color schemes of. I have no idea what general age, or brand they could be. Like, through context clues it's probably Caron, Wintuk, or Red Heart; and could be from anytime between the 70s to early 2000s. There's a third one I liked too, you can see it on the right between the boxes, between the christmas yarn and the green yarn. It's the mint green/white/mint blue/white pattern. All three fell into the category of "I liked these yarns and it would have been nice to make something with them but there was just scraps left" :-(. I'd love to hunt down dupes of them someday. (TBH the third one is just like...every other baby yarn)

Another shot of the pastel/meat corner. There's another pink meaty yarn above. I made a really thick scarf that I really like out of it and I just realized I never made a page on it here.

A brighter section. Cut off at the very bottom, you can see RHSS in "Monet" I think I've seen one project ever with this yarn that I like the look of. At the top you can see the end! I was hoping that I had enough of the orange yarn to get one full row but nope lol. I was going to end it at the corner but something about it ending suddenly, not quite halfway through a side, is both funny and fitting.

The End to the 10 year scrap blanket. I'm not particularly dedicated to acrylic yarn but oh man does this blanket (and most of my shared projects?) say otherwise. Hey there's like 5 scraps of cotton in there! And even one or two wool! IDK what I'll do with my leftover yarn going forward.

*I feel obligated to point out that you should not use acrylic (IE Plastic) yarn around heat. In practical life, for me, an acrylic square is completely fine for carrying a hot bowl of soup, grabbing a hot plate from the microwave, or protecting your hand from a hot teapot handle. Good lord do not pull something out of the oven with one, though. I don't really trust crochet of any material for particularly hot things regardless, because it's made of holes + has some degree of stretch. I'd rather use a solid potholder.

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